I’m afraid marriage will spoil a good relationship

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 50s. I have never been married but I have three boys with two different women. 

I know I do not have a long time to live. Two of my boys are living at home. One is living in overseas. He comes to Jamaica often. He is planning to get married. He has asked me when I am going to get married and how can I continue to go on with this single life. I don’t play around as much as I used to. 

I am a happy man. I have a woman friend who takes care of my clothes and the house. She does not only wash for me, but also for my two sons and they pay her. I am not ashamed to tell you that we have a very healthy sex life. We do not even discuss marriage because I don’t see the need for that. 

There is a spare room that she can stay whenever she feels like. My sons’ girlfriends don’t stay here. I told my son who is overseas that this woman, who works for me is in love with me. However, I fear that, if we were to get married, it would spoil the relationship. My son said that I am getting old. He said that his brothers may soon leave home, so it is time for me to put my house in order. 

I really don’t want to get married but, if I am to get married, I would have to marry this lady because she deserves it. And they love her. Do you have any advice that you wish to give to me? 

L.
 

Dear L.,

I understand what you are saying, but it is time for you to learn to settle down. Your son has spoken to you and has told you to consider your ways because time is rushing by. Very soon, you will be an old man and you would need lots of help. If you were serious about marriage, this woman who is receiving benefits from you, and you from her, would accept your proposal because she knows that you are a good man. She knows that you are not prepared to run around anymore. So I say to you, my dear sir, treat the woman well, she is a helper and your lover at the same time. 

Remember that you are not young anymore. You are going to need someone to take care of you. 

Pastor