Woman overcomes depression, suicide attempts to earn law degree

A failed suicide attempt, instances of inflicting self-harm and mounting debts were occurrences during Chala Suzie McNee's university journey.

McNee is celebrating a major milestone having completed her bachelor's of law degree from the University of the West Indies, Mona, albeit eight years after she started.

She began reading for her law degree in September 2012, after transferring from the faculty of humanities where she was enrolled as a liberal arts student. However, she was now facing a US$10,000 (approximately J$1.4 million) a year tuition fee, which neither she nor her mother, Sophia Rattigan, could find ways to fund.

"I managed to get through the first semester, it was okay, but in the second semester, I had a lot of financial problems, and I think it was at that time that it was decided that I would probably have to drop out because neither my mom nor myself could see anyway of me getting the money to finish school," the 28-year-old said.

The Moneague, St Ann, native revealed that a good Samaritan paid her outstanding fees to complete her first year of the law programme.

Her struggles continued in her second year, causing her to sit out a year. The pressure got unbearable and McNee found it difficult to pay for her rent and other basic necessities. She became depressed and even attempted suicide.

"When no one was there (at home), I used to find heels like pumps and hit myself in the head with them. I used to cut myself with any sharp instrument that I could find, like I would literally sit down and take the razor blades out of sharpeners and cut myself. I remember there was this instance where I took quite a number of painkillers and when I started to feel really drowsy, I just thought that this was it. I felt so lost and defeated, and so depressed that I tried a lot of different ways to self-harm myself or end my life. I just wanted peace and I thought that harming myself or doing things to end my life would bring me peace," McNee told THE STAR.

She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and manic depression in 2014, after having a mental breakdown during one of her exams. This caused her to take a leave of absence for two years. But, McNee admitted that even with the cloak of darkness around her, she was determined to complete.

In 2019, the St Hilda's Diocesan Hugh graduate began her third year at the faculty of law, even though she owed the university almost $800,000. Through perseverance, prayers, encouragement from friends and family, as well as assistance from The UWI Development and Endowment Fund, she successfully completed the degree programme in July.

Elated and relieved to have earned her degree, albeit five years later than she hoped, McNee is urging people not to give up on their dreams, irrespective of the obstacles in their way.

"It is rough, it is trying and you may always wonder why you have to go through it," McNee said.

"Own your story, own the ups, the downs, and know that there really is better to come. There is really light at the end of the tunnel and if you can't see that light, there is no knock in you asking for help, there is no knock in you being vulnerable, there is no bad in you trying to put yourself and your mental health first. There are people there who are willing to invest in you to help you see the best in you," McNee said.

With degree in hand, McNee's next focus is gaining acceptance to the Norman Manley Law School in order to earn her practising certificate as a lawyer.