Not sure if I am good enough for this woman

May 03, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I'm 46 and I am talking to a young lady who is 26. She is a practical nurse and also a security officer. She left Mandeville and came to Montego Bay to make a better life for herself.

In Mandeville, she worked as a security officer. She lives on her own. When I enquired about her from persons at her workplace, they had nothing bad to say about her. She is very quiet and humble. She doesn't talk to many men. She is old-school, so to speak. She is very smart and she has good principles. She does not follow the crowd, and she does not smoke or drink.

She is an Adventist. She is very natural and she knows what she wants. She wants to settle down and get married. She does not do her nails, but she does her hair; she is a natural woman. She told me that she has been in three different relationships. She built a house with one of the men and he got another woman pregnant. She is a hard-working woman. She has never begged me for anything, and whenever we go out together and I offer to buy her something to eat, she tells me no, she is okay. She does not like fast food. She only drinks soda.

I have never asked her for sex, but she has made it very clear to me that she wants to get married and serve the Lord. She does not keep company. She is attractive, but she has a little weight problem. Her tummy is big. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't know how to deal with her. I have three children with three different women and she is willing to accept them. She only wants to have children with one man. She is very understanding. She does not text or bother me. If she calls me once and doesn't get me, she does not call back. She speaks to me with a good tone of voice.

I have been talking to her for one month and everything about her remains the same. Even when I don't keep my word, she finds time to see me and she tells me that I should keep my dates. I do not know if I am good enough for her. I am holding back. At the same time, I do not want to lose her. Please, tell me what to do.


Dear D.G.,

If you seriously want to settle down, here is a woman you should try and work with. She is not perfect, but she is a little weird. It is rather unusual to meet a woman who does not use make-up or do her nails. You describe her as a natural woman, but you seem to like her for her unusual ways. You take her for dates and she does not eat anything; perhaps she is watching her weight. Or she is afraid to eat because she is very conscientious that she is carrying a big belly.

The relationship is very young, only one month old. So this woman might be trying to read you to see exactly what type of man you are. You have fathered three children with three different women. You should stop being a playboy and settle down. That is what I believe this lady is trying to tell you. I doubt she will allow you to fool around her and move on. So if you have that in mind, forget it.


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