Sons think I married a gold-digger

Dear Pastor,

Everything is sinking around us. I am in my 70s and I am married to a much younger woman. When I met her I told her of my investment and how we were going to support ourselves.

She was excited about that. I also have a couple of properties that I rent. But now she wants to control everything. I am able to do my business on my own. She is still employed, but I am retired.

I love this woman, but I am beginning to think that my two sons were correct when they said that she seemed to be a gold-digger and a trickster. I thought they were saying so because she was much younger. But imagine this young woman questioning me when I write cheques even if I do so to give to charitable organisations.

My spiritual adviser told me that he was not going to encourage me to marry this young girl, but I thought that he was jealous of me. I take care of everything in the house; yet I give her $100,000 for herself and I do not question how she spends this money. I also gave her a good car. My children tell me that she might be spending some of this money on her boyfriend. Well, I don't care if that is what she is doing. But I resent her telling me that I should put her in charge of my finances.

My children told me that if I do not have confidence in her I should put a tracker on the car so I would know where she is going. She knows where I am and I don't care where she goes as long as she tells me when she is going out. She says $100,000 is not enough for her. I would like to know what you think about that. Bear in mind, she does not pay any bills in the house. I don't want my initials to be known.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

As I read your letter, I ask myself what are your concerns. Are you worried because your wife feels that she should have a bigger say in your money and she also believes that you need to give her money for her to maintain herself? One hundred thousand dollars to some people is a lot of money. Some people will blow that money away in a week; others in less than a week. Your children discouraged you from marrying this woman. They thought that she was a gold-digger. Perhaps they were correct, but I can't be sure. I am just judging from what you said. Perhaps she is trying her best to protect you.

I wouldn't encourage you to put a tracker on your wife's vehicle. That may cause her to hate you when she finds out. Have regular discussions with your two sons and do so at your home, so at least your wife will not be able to say that nobody knows your business but you.

I observed that you have not said anything of your wife having another man in your life. Your sons suggested that, but they might have said it in jest. Let me hear from you again. Continue to do well. Don't allow your wife or anybody to try to stop you from supporting charitable organisations. Go to your doctor regularly and follow his advice.

Pastor