Fiancé wants to film us making love

March 20, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am engaged to be married this Boxing Day. I am excited about it because I have always wanted to be married before I turned 21.

I could have been married a year ago, but my fiance got into trouble with the law and was arrested. He was a good man, but he has not been able to explain what happened and why he was arrested. My relatives encouraged me to break off the relationship that I had with him.

My present fiance is eight years older than I am. Some consider him a little too old for me, but I love him very much. He has a good job and he supports me. My boyfriend was married, but his wife became ill and died. We started to date and after one year, he asked me to marry him. I told him I was too young for him, but I did not mean it. So our relationship developed and now we are living together. He has allowed me to rearrange the bedroom and to paint it in the colour that I like. He has taken down all the pictures of his former wife, and when one enters the house they see a portrait of me.

Tell me whether this is right, Pastor. He wants me to make him a promise that when we get married, we should film ourselves making love and add music to it, and that we can look back at it for enjoyment. I told my oldest sister. She said that she would not do it, because one cannot be sure what he will do with that video. I love this man and I want to please him. He says that he has no intention of making anyone see us making love in bed. It would be strictly for us.

Initial withheld

Dear Writer,

The request from your fiance is not to be taken lightly. I don't know why he would want to have you on tape making love with each other.

Right now both of you are living together, so you already see each other in the nude. Why does he want to have you on video? And how can he be sure that no one else will ever see it?

I am afraid I cannot encourage you to allow this man to make a video of both of you making love. Where is he going to keep this video? Suppose you were to have a helper and she should find this video? You might hear all about it.

You are a young girl; there are certain risks that you should not take. Perhaps your fiance has good intentions, but if he loves you he will not fight you over this request. I wish you well as you plan your wedding. Take good care, and let me hear from you again.


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