Best friend slept with my woman

August 19, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old man and the father of one child. Her mother and I have been lovers for five years. The relationship has been on and off, but mostly on.

I went away for six weeks on a short course and during that brief period, my child's mother got involved with my best friend. I was sitting at my desk studying when my cell phone rang and someone alerted me that my best friend was at my house, and it was 11 p.m. I texted my child's mother by asking her if anyone was there with her and she told me no one but our child and herself. She said that I was dreaming, so I should go back to sleep. I couldn't study for the rest of the night, and neither could I sleep.

When we spoke the following day, I told her that I knew someone was there with her and she went silent. When I came back to Jamaica, I decided that I would not stay with her. She told me my best friend was always taking her around because she did not have the car, as something was wrong with it. But he never slept over with her. I faced my best friend and asked him if he had ever gone to bed with my woman. Instead of telling me yes or no, he said that that was not a question I should ask him. So right away I knew that he went to bed with her. I have lost trust in this woman, but I still love her. However, things are not the same with us.

On her birthday, I bought her roses. She cried when she saw them and without prompting, she said she did not mean to cheat on me. She said that on that day, my best friend wore the same cologne that I usually wore and he hugged her, and she could not resist him. She has been begging me to forgive her. She said that it was the first time she went with another man. Then she asked me if I had ever gone to another woman. I told her that I had never had sex with any other woman. But I had kissed other women. Sometimes I feel that I should forgive her. I don't know what to do, because all the trust is gone. I don't respect my so-called best friend. I have kept away from him, because I have been tempted to hurt him. I have even stopped using the cologne that I used to use.

I was always a forgiving guy, but not any more. What do you suggest I should do?


Dear T.D.,

This woman eventually came clean. She admitted that she made love with your best friend. This man should not consider himself your friend.

This woman was at her weakest point so she yielded to him. She was wrong. But he got her to the point where she was unable to resist him. As I read your letter, I felt that I should ask you to consider forgiving her. But if you do not forgive her, no one should hold that against you.

She said at first that nothing happened between them. She could have continued saying that nothing happened, and you would not have been able to prove anything. So now that she has admitted that they made love, and you have refused to be buddies with your so-called best friend, give this young woman another chance. You have kissed other women, but you have not gone all the way. You have not been perfect. Remember that everyone makes mistakes.


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