Husband says he prefers prostitutes over me

August 18, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I have been married for two years. My husband and I have two children, but he is a wild man. Every girl he meets, he wants them.

He tells them that he is single and looking for a woman to marry. It doesn't take long for the girls to believe him. He has got two of them pregnant. After they got pregnant, they found out that they were dealing with a married man. One of them called me while she was in the hospital and apologised to me. I told her that she didn't have to apologise to me, but I was sorry for her. When he came home that night, I told him that his babymother was in the hospital so he should go and see her and deal with the situation. He said that she didn't have any right to call me and she should have protected herself.


I asked the girl if she did not question him. She said he told her that he was still living at home, and his parents were Christians. So unless he was sure about the relationship, he didn't want to take her there. He was so convincing. She had a one-bedroom place, so he always went to be with her. The man is wicked. I cannot continue to go on with this relationship, because whenever I tell him that he has to change, he comes home early for about a month and then he goes back to his old ways.

I am now a Christian and I told my husband that I will not allow his type of life to take me to Hell. I have talked to my pastor about him, and I told him that I would like to divorce my husband. He said that as a Christian, I should not because if I do, I will have to be single for the rest of my life. I know that I will not be able to live like that.

I scorn my husband, because I know he is going with some dirty girls out there. One day he told me that prostitutes are sweeter than I am. So I found a store that sells adult stuff and I bought a vibrator. It is working very well. But I am not sure that I should use this all the time as a Christian. But if my husband prefers to go with all these different women and he finds pleasure in prostitutes, I am sure you can see that I do not have a marriage. What is your advice?


Dear B.R.,

I must begin by telling you that many churches believe and teach that Christians should never divorce their partners regardless of their struggles.

They say that only death should separate a couple; divorce is a no-no. If a partner divorces the other, the one who is divorced cannot remarry. I do not intend to quote any passage of scripture, but I must tell you that this argument about divorce and remarriage has gone on in the church for many years. Some churches still insist that it is a sin to divorce and remarry, and one would be living in sin if one should remarry after being divorced.

As I see it, divorce means an end to the marriage, and the person is free to marry again. But I know that many do not accept that. As far as you are concerned, you must make your own decision. Your husband is a disgrace. He has told you that prostitutes are sweeter than you, so how can you deal with a man like that? He doesn't have any respect for you. Although he is married, he is still wild. Perhaps only death will stop him.

I do feel sorry for the women who he tricked. Some folks may say the women have been careless, but your husband seems to have an oily tongue and he knows how to convince women. Before you make your final decision, perhaps you should discuss the matter with your pastor again. But if you have already made up your mind to divorce him, please see an attorney, who will handle the process for you.


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