Boyfriend doesn’t know I live with my sugar daddy

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and I don't have any children, but I have been living with a man who is 55 for three years. We live in a gated community, but people don't know that I am his girlfriend.

Before I came here, he told me to tell them that I was his niece. I don't use the landline; I use a cell phone that he bought for me. My relatives have my old number. They think I am living with a younger man. I had a younger boyfriend, but he is away on the farmwork programme. He doesn't know that I am living with this man. This man gives me everything, but he doesn't like me keeping company. My guy who is abroad sends me money, and I deposit it in a special account. I don't know what I am going to do, because I am young and I want to obey this older man because he treats me like a queen. He has promised to buy me a car for my birthday. I have friends, but I can't bring them to the house, so I go to see them. Whenever they ask me why they can't visit me, I lie and tell them that my landlord doesn't want to see visitors. I don't know how long I can continue living this way.

I would like to get married. That is the only thing that may cause me to run away from this man. I wouldn't want to have a child with him. I know I sound confused, but I would rather sound confused than be broke. But I am not broke. I have money, and money is what every girl my age wants.

My boyfriend who is working in America is 26. Let me get your advice, please.

Confused

Dear Confused,

What you are saying is that you are living with a man who is 55 and who is taking care of you very well. He is able to live in a gated community. But he has got you to be living a big lie.

The people see you as his niece. They are not going to question the relationship. They accept what you have both told them.

You continue to communicate with your boyfriend in America. But you know in your heart that you are a deceiver. He believes that everything is alright between the both of you. You are a wicked girl. The poor man is sending you money and you are banking it because you don't have to spend it. What is the real purpose for this 55-year-old encouraging you to live this double life? How long can this relationship last? I can tell you the absolute truth, you can't hide forever. Somebody will find or see you and find out that you are lying, and they are going to report it to your boyfriend.

Right now you are living in slavery, you are not free. You need to free yourself. What is going to happen when your boyfriend informs you that he is returning to Jamaica? Are you going to tell him that he cannot come? Are you going to wait until that time to try and break up with the older man? Now is the time to break up your fallow ground. The Bible says "the love of money is the root of all evil", and it is the money you are getting from this older man.

It is time for you to look at what you have got from your boyfriend, and to weigh the situation carefully to see if the amount that you have can help you to get a nice dwelling. It may not be a gated community, but it can be a place where your boyfriend could feel that he would not waste his money. This older man knew that you had a man when he met you. So discuss the matter with him. Don't be afraid to do so.

I am saying these things because I am assuming you don't want to break up with your boyfriend, who is working temporarily in America. But if you decide to stay with this older man, you should tell the young man that you want to move on. I warn you again, you are living dangerously.

Pastor