This guy fooling my daughter

Dear Pastor,

I am in my 50s and I have one daughter. I was a farmer but because of ill health, I have not been doing farming anymore. My daughter and her boyfriend run the farm.

This man has come in and wants to take over everything. I can still drive and do light work, but he wants to do everything. My daughter cannot see that he wants everything. I don't know why she has allowed him to believe that he is a very honest man. I know he is not from what I have been told. Since she has taken up with this man, he does not want her to go anywhere. She has a friend who is much a better guy and he lives in America. He came to Jamaica and visited me and this man saw him and told her to tell him not to come back. She told him that this is my place and he said, 'Your father is not in charge anymore'. The guy is out of order.

I am divorced but my wife and I have a very good relationship. My wife spoke to the young man about him disrespecting me and my daughter told her that it was time for me to give up and not to try to choose for her. I am not trying to choose for her but I hate to see that a child who I have raised and educated will allow a man to treat her as if she doesn't have any sense. She has taken her money and given to him as he has unpaid loans. She did not want me to know but I heard them arguing about it and when he was gone, I asked her about it and she was not pleased.

She is my only child and I am concerned. I would like to turn over everything to my daughter. I don't know how you will see it, but it is hard for me to do so knowing that this man, who does not deserve anything from me, will get what I have worked so hard to build.

O.

Dear O.,

I am trying to determine what your real concern is. Has this man been stealing from you? Or is it that you just do not like him at all? Or would you have preferred to see your daughter with someone else?

You are in your 50s, so I know that your daughter is old enough to have a man in her life. In fact, you are not questioning that. What you are saying is that this man is behaving as if he wants to take over everything. I am sure that that cannot happen if your daughter is intelligent and knows what she is doing. You have not lost control over everything. I don't know how you run your business but you and your daughter need to talk. Men and women who understand the business should be brought in to give advice.

Face it, you don't trust this man and your daughter knows you don't trust him. So, don't allow him to have his way in your business. Please let your daughter know that her love life and the business should not mix. Sometimes when young people are in love, they use the business' money to assist those they love and that can cause big problems.

Perhaps the time has come for you to meet with your lawyer and discuss the business with him and talk about everything that you own. Tell the lawyer about your concerns. That should help you to get peace of mind. You are going to need your daughter, so don't do anything that will give her the impression that you don't want her around.

Pastor