Dad’s creepy friend is trying to sleep with me

Dear Pastor,

I wrote you some time ago about a problem I was having. I am from rural Jamaica and I come from a large family. My father has 11 of us; seven with my mother.

He can hardly read but he took care of all of us. When I was 19 years old, I had my first sexual experience. My father's friend came to the house and brought me some fried chicken and chips. I used to always pass by and look at the sign of the food place, but I never had any of this type of chicken.

A few weeks passed and this man came to the house to visit my father. My boyfriend also came by. My boyfriend and I have been friends for two years. He is in engineering. I did not know that this man told my father how much he loves me and my father told him that he is too old for me. I love my boyfriend very much. His sisters and I get along very well.

This man told me that my boyfriend can't help me much and he can give me everything I want. Now, whenever I see him, I only say 'hello' and pass by. The way he looks at me, I am afraid that he may rape me. I am also planning to go to America. This man told me that he can stop me from going. I asked him how and he said he knows people in high places.

My mother does not care much about me. She likes my boyfriend but she told me that he is not in a position to help me much, so I must be careful what I do. As I said, my father can hardly read so he will not give me much guidance. I love my boyfriend and this man cannot take him away from me, but I need help and advice. Please help me.

F.M.

Dear F.M.,

I am going to suggest that you make all your plans to get a good education. This man who is a friend of your father's might be able to give you some money and to buy more chicken and chips for you, but I doubt that his goal is to see that you get an education. You know what he is after and he knows what he is after. But you need an education, which will be permanent.

You have not said the reason why you want to go to America but if it is to get an education, you are on the right track. Nothing can take the place of having a good education. It is said that education is the best way forward. You are 19 years old; you have many precious years before you. Don't allow anyone to take those years away from you.

You should talk to your boyfriend about what this man is saying to you and you should not go anywhere with this older man. The opportunities abroad are vast. You did not say whether your boyfriend is in university, but what both of you probably should do is to meet with a career counsellor and discuss your future with the individual. Hold your head high and don't be distracted at all. Let me know what progress you are making.

Pastor