Young women are throwing themselves at me Young women are throwing themselves at me

May 18, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 56 years old and still reading your columns and listening to you on the radio. You officiated at my wedding, but my wife passed on.

Sometimes I wonder whether I should get married again. But my three children are discouraging me from doing that. One of my daughters lives in New York. The other daughter is still at home with me. She has her boyfriend, so she comes and goes. I never thought that I would see my daughter with a man in my house. She would not have done that if her mother were alive. But she is in her 20s and I can't argue with her. She sees to it that all the bills in the house are paid and that I have food.

My daughter's boyfriend is a policeman. I don't know what she sees in men who wear uniform. He is the second boyfriend who she has brought to me. The first one was a policeman, also. But this one cares about her. I don't want to say what type of work my daughter does, but she earns good money, and she controls her boyfriend's money. She is not interested in going back to school. Her sister is a nurse in New York, and her brother works at a call centre.

My house is fully paid for. Sometimes I do feel lonely, but I am not interested in having a lady friend. When my wife died, one of her friends stole some money from me. Since then, I don't trust her. I notice, pastor, that the young girls are always interested in coming to see me, and they are always broke. I told one of them recently that she should find a man. She told me that she has found one, and that man is me. When I told my daughter what she said, my daughter told me that I should not let her come back to the house. But I cannot stop her from coming, because sometimes I do need the company. I have never touched her, because I am not sure that I can manage. I need your advice.


Dear L.W.,

I am glad that you have a good relationship with your children and I am sorry that you lost your wife. You say that one of your daughters is in her 20s and she is in love with a policeman.

She knows that there are some good policemen, and some of them treat women well. You have seen how this man takes care of your daughter. She is at home, but at her age she has her own key. She comes and goes, and she is there as your protection. Her man is going to protect you, too.

According to you, you do not care to have another serious relationship. There are some girls who like much older men, and they do not desire to rob them. They do believe that older men make better lovers. Evidently, you do not trust them. So unless you come to the place where you have decided to trust another young woman, keep far from them. Don't give this young lady, who evidently likes you, the impression that you believe that she is after your wealth, because she might not be. She might be concerned about your well-being.

Remember that although you are in your senior years, you are not an old man. Your daughter might not be living with you forever, neither will your son. So I suggest that you do not rule out another woman who might become your life partner.


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