Too many women calling my man’s phone

January 28, 2022

Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work that you are doing. I read your column every day while I am at work. I am experiencing a little problem with my relationship.

I am over 20 years old and I have been dating a guy for over seven years now. He always has many women calling his phone about hair, phone and other things. During the relationship, when he was overseas, I met someone new and got pregnant. When he came back, we were still friends. After I had the baby, he got me a job overseas at his company. He helps me with the child and with whatever I want because my child's father does nothing and I do not ask him for anything.

The problem is this man is a very nice man. He would buy me whatever I want, but I cannot take the girls that keep texting his phone and he always says if he loved anyone else, she would be here with him and not me and I do not know how to react to this statement. Whenever the girls text his phone, they always want something, and every time I see the messages, I argue with him. But he believes that because I'm young, I do not understand life. Whenever he does something wrong, he always tries to make it up to me. But I just cannot trust him enough to not think he will cheat. I need your help to tell me what I should do.

J

Dear J.,

You went with another man while your boyfriend was away. This other man got you pregnant, but when your boyfriend returned, he came back to you.

I would say that in spite of what happened, he forgave you and if he is supporting the child as you say, he still loves you. But he loves other women, too.

You say that he has got you a job overseas, but he has other girlfriends. He may or may not be intimate with them. He is very kind and these girls are always asking him for help. You are not sure where this relationship is going. If you keep fussing with him about the texts, he may finally leave you. On the other hand, this man does not hide his phone and you can read the text messages from other women. He knows what you have done to him. You got pregnant by another man, so he doesn't expect you to make a big fuss over his girlfriends. I hope that you understand what I mean. He might be taking advantage of your situation. But I hope that he would treat you right and understand that you made a big mistake and I hope he does not try to take advantage of you.

Pastor

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