Ungrateful babyfather wants to throw me out

January 27, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I have been in a common-law relationship since 2011. At first, I didn't know that my common-law spouse owned a small phone and computer store.

I used to work in a clothes store across from this place and that's how we met. I moved in with him soon after.

One day he called to borrow $20,000 to buy some parts. I haven't been repaid. He tried to borrow another $20,000 but I refused, so he cursed me.

He told the neighbour. She told me to loan him the money and that if he didn't repay, I could write a note and she would sign it. So I loaned him, but he didn't repay. To this day, I haven't got back any of the money that I loaned him.

didn't give me money

When I went to live with him, we had to pass our stool in buckets at nights and take them outside to throw away in a pit latrine. We had a sheet of ply to cover what was supposed to be the window. Since that time we have pulled together and finished the bathroom, tiled the bedroom floor and other things. He asked me to help out at the shop, but he would not even give me $500 at the end of the week. I was in the shop six days per week. All I got was lunch money.

We started arguing about it until one day he said that I should control the printing, which I did. He got control of the entire shop. He noticed that the printing business took off, so he suggested that we sell some juices and other stuff. I was at the shop one day and the business phone rang. A woman said, "Bitch, it is not you alone who is in your man's life any more." This woman turned out to be pregnant.


I prayed to become pregnant by him, because I was lonely and didn't want to get out of the relationship. After four years, God answered my prayers and blessed me with a little girl in 2015. He has only helped with my daughter a few times since she was born. I have been ill. Whenever I needed more money, I had to go to the shop and work a week or two. He never used to check up on his daughter. I asked him why and he started to curse me.

I have never cheated on this man, even when he cheated, so I didn't understand why being sick was a problem. He took my daughter to visit his other woman. My daughter told me so. Pastor, I have asked this man on numerous occasions to assist me in starting a business for myself and he hasn't. We are still living in a one-bedroom house. I told him to let us add a room for our daughter, but he hasn't.

After spending 10 years with this man, staying in his business while he ran around with other women, and doing all the chores, now that I am sick he has decided that I'm of no use to him and he's going to throw me out of his house. I'm at my wit's end now.


Dear M.,

I rather suspect that you need psychological help. You have been with a man for years and he has been treating you as a floor mat, yet you have stayed with him. Something is wrong with you. I know for sure that you need to see a psychiatrist. This man hasn't treated you well. He is disrespectful and cruel. What you have allowed yourself to go through with him is not for love. You have done so because you are unwise. It is time for you to move on. If you love your life you should not return to this man.

I am begging you to go to a family doctor and ask him to refer you to a psychiatrist, because although this man has told you the dirtiest things, you are still with him. He has taken advantage of you, but God is not sleeping. His day will come, and it is going to be very bad for him.

Madam, do not go back to his house. Retribution might come upon this man. Then he may cry out and say somebody has obeahed him. I beg you, for your own good, leave this man. You have suffered too long at his hands.


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