Women keep giving me bun

January 25, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 61 and I have never been married. I was trying to follow in my father's footsteps. He had five children, all with my mother.

Whenever he was asked why he wasn't married, he used to say that his time had not yet come. My mother never fussed with him. One day, my father announced that he was getting married. The pastor came right to our house and married my parents.

All my siblings have got married but I don't have luck with women. I am a farmer. I had a woman. She was a teacher and she had a child. I supported the child. She called me uncle. After this woman and I started to see each other, there was a rumour that she and a teacher from another school were having a relationship. She said that was untrue. She used to come to the house and see that everything was all right. She would spend a night with me and go home the following day.

One day, one of my cousins told me that he saw her and she looked pregnant. To cut a long story, this woman got pregnant by the same teacher. It really hurt me because I had to hear it from someone. A few months before she got pregnant, I got my partner draw and I gave her $50,000 to help her to buy a washing machine.

Now she is telling me that I should forgive her because the man used a condom and it broke. I asked her how could the man use a condom when she was not supposed to be having sex with him. This man is living with his woman but they are not married. She wanted me to keep quiet and nobody would know that the child is not mine. I still love her and we are still friends but I am very bitter. I told her to return the $50,000 that I gave her but she doesn't have it.

Am I wrong to ask her back for the money? This woman is 35. When I was 30, I caught my then girlfriend making out with a man on a bench. I got there just in time to prevent them from having sex. The guy's pants were down to his knees. So you see where I say I don't have luck. There is a woman who loves me. I don't know how far this one will go. She is 55. She is the oldest woman I have had a relationship with. I always like them much younger. What advice can you give me?


Dear W.,

Farmers work very hard. They get up so early in the mornings and they have to encounter disappointments and hardships because there are those who seem to prey on them.

Farming is not very profitable for some farmers but they keep going. Many farmers, however, have done well. They have been able to provide for their families and they have educated their children. So, I congratulate you for sticking with it.

You are not as fortunate as your father when it comes to women. Your mother was loyal to your father and although they were living together for many years and didn't marry, they eventually did. You got involved with this teacher who evidently used you. You helped to feed her out of your farm and you supported her child. But it doesn't seem as if she ever loved you. She loved what you were able to give her. When you heard that she was having a relationship with another man, you should have ended the relationship. What were they doing in bed so that the condom would burst?

The woman has made a fool out of you and you should not prepare to support another child. She wants you to keep quiet and to behave as if you are the father. She wants to get more from you but you should not even allow her to come back to your house.

Concerning the other woman who is interested in you, if you love her or think you love her, give the friendship time to grow. But don't throw money on her. My brother, remember you are 61 years old and very soon you may not be able to work as hard as you are working now. So, save your money for a rainy day.


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