I am living with a heartless man!


November 26, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I have been living with a man for over a year. He is so mean. I am contemplating leaving him. I have a one-year-old son but his father hardly supports him and that is why this man is in my life. When I was having a relationship with my child's father, my father warned me about him. I ignored my father and the first night I had sex with the guy I got pregnant. I wanted the child and he wanted the child. He told me he would marry me but then he changed his mind.

cheating on me

He was keeping other women with me so I left him and was staying with a girlfriend. My father became ill and I went home to help my mother, and my father told me to come back home. When he got better, he started to complain about his little grandson and said that he was not going to come to anything good because his father is not good. This man I am living with is worse than my child's father. Imagine, the gas ran out one Sunday while we were cooking. He knew where we could get gas. I called a friend to help me. She said she didn't have any money to lend me.

My boyfriend went to bed and when he woke up he never asked a question. I put the half-cooked food in the refrigerator and made a sandwich and gave to my child. This man went to his

mother and ate Sunday dinner. He did not even bring home a chicken leg, and in the middle of the night while I was in deep sleep he touched me and I didn't pay him any mind. He woke me up for sex. I was so mad at him. I told him I would cut off his penis if he tried to rape me. I said to him, "No gas, no sex." The next day he did not even help me with the gas. I was without gas for four days and every day before he came home he went to his mother and ate. I told him I am going to give him bun. He never answered but I didn't do it. He told me that he is paying the rent and the electricity bill so I can buy the gas. Do you think I should stay with this man?


Dear L.P.,

I doubt that he told his mother that you ran out of cooking gas. I could be wrong but I feel that she would have provided a plate of dinner for you that you could have shared between your son and yourself. He is a very wicked man. He was fortunate that you slept on the same bed with him. Don't tell me that man was so broke that he couldn't buy gas. Surely, his mother could have helped him with a loan, or perhaps a brother or sister, to buy gas. He should not have allowed so many days to pass.

take action

I can't encourage any woman to bring physical hurt to a man or a man to physically hurt a woman but I do understand why you would have been

tempted to cut off his penis. What can you do with this man? What should you do? Well, this is not a relationship that has to go to a family counsellor. You should take action now. The man is mean and worthless. If you are not working try your very best to get a job and support your child and yourself. Concerning the father of your child, put him before the court and end the relationship with this man. If he can't find money to buy cooking gas he would not find money to do other little things in the house. I am trying to tell you to leave him.


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