Why is she so calm after I told her I cheated?


November 25, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am living in the United States but I have a girlfriend in Jamaica. We have been friends for three years. Every year she spends most of the summer with me. I try my best to be true to her. I fail sometimes because it is not easy, pastor, not to be with a woman week after week. When she asked me how I have been, I lie. I live in my own apartment and when she comes she stays with me.

The last time she was here she found condoms. I had forgotten to throw them out. I tried to lie to her so by telling her I was preparing for her that's why I had them. She did not drink that Kool-aid because she reminded me that that is not the type I use with her, so I had to confess that I had them for my own protection and for her protection, too, because sometimes I do find myself wanting to have sex with someone else. I thought she would have been very upset but instead she told me that she was glad I am protecting myself and our relationship. How could she take what I am doing so easy? Does she really care? Do you think that she is cheating on me too? She said that she is not. I am planning to marry her as soon as she graduates from

university. When she was leaving, she told me to make sure that I buy some more condoms to protect myself and have fun because the next time she comes to America it would be for good.


Dear C.L.,

Your girlfriend probably knew for a long time that you were seeing other girls. You probably thought that she won't figure out anything and she believed that you are a saint from heaven. No man, she is smarter than you. She figured you out. If you are only seeing her once per year, what could prevent you from going with other women? When you tried to lie to her you failed, and when you confessed that you have had sexual relationship with other women, she did not fuss and argue and carry on. She knew it all along that you were doing so. The problem you are having is that because she took the matter so cool, you feel that she might be cheating too. Well, you are wrong. She doesn't have to be. I am sure you have asked her, but you can even investigate if you have doubts. You can spend some money and hire a private investigator, or you can fly to Jamaica and check her out. Of course, what I have just said is ridiculous. It would be easier just to believe that she is being true to you.

I wish both of you well. Consider yourself fortunate to have this very intelligent woman.


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